Tuesday, August 30, 2011

I Need a Doctor!

Well, it's been too long & too quiet!

My son's been complaining of a pain in his right side which we kept putting off since my son is NOTORIOUS for phantom medical issues. I mean, last time we went to the doctor she said he was a bit of a hypercondriac - Ya think?

So for the past couple of days he started complaining of pain in his left testicle & we were like 'maybe it's because you've been sitting at that computer for hours playing video games & let it go. Until today when he sent me a text asking me to make a doctor's appointment so I did. The only appointment time they had was at 1:30 so my mom had to take him while I was at work.

Well, it's suspected he has a hernia - hence the testicular pain and he has feces that has backed up behind his intestines - hence the pain in his right side. So on Thursday I have to take him for a testicular ultrasound & he has to up his fiber and water intake so he will no longer be so full of shit!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Vacation & Then Let's Get Physical...


First of all I've been away on vacation! Went to Universal Studios in Orlando, FL for a few days & it was AMAZE-BALLS! So much fun & my son actually said as we were eating dinner one night...

"I must admit, I'm having a great time, thank you for this."

Woop! Woop! Totally amazing parental unit moment!!!

Anyhoo, we're back & I've decided to start working out.  I began today doing some 30 Day exercise video & it totally kicked my ass.  Today's workout was sculpt.  On Tuesday & I have to do cardio & on Thursday I have to do a sculpt/cardio workout.  This torture goes on 3 days per week for 4 weeks & I'm supposed to be super skinny at the end! LOL!!!

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

Went to dinner last night with some co-workers to take out an ex-co-worker that is getting married on August 5th.  At first we were supposed to go to a place in the city called LIPS which I really wanted to go to, but someone invited someone who couldn't go on a Friday so the bride made other plans for that Friday when we could have went without that one person but whatever.  We ended up going to a restaurant in Weehawken called The Chart House which is actually really beautiful especially at night because it's all windows on the Hudson & when NY turns on all those lights it is breathtaking. Prior to going my NKOTB partner in crime (who put this all together) sent an email to everyone invited detailing that the dinner would be at the Chart House and the dinner price ranges not including appetizers, drinks or dessert could be from $20 up to $50.  My once really good friend, which I even helped get a job out of the classroom as an assistant to be in the main office as my assistant (turned out to be the WORST plan I ever had) decided for no apparent reason not to drive so she came with us in the car.  Once we were pretty close to the restaurant my friend went to make a left turn into a street that turned out to be closed for construction which totally threw us off. My office-mate starts screaming from the back seat "JUST GET TO THE RIGHT! JUST GET TO THE RIGHT!" My NKOTB P.I.C. quietly says to her "I can't there's a friggin' bus" & a bus went right by us but like RIGHTBYUS.

When we got to the restaurant, we ordered an array of appetizers (stuff I don't eat), some ordered wine (which I don't drink) and then we ordered dinner.  My office-mate ordered the same dinner I ordered which went for $30.99 my NKOTB P.I.C. wasn't kidding dinner would be expensive but I was prepared. After dinner we ordered an array of desserts.  Then came the bill...dum di dum dum dum!!! It ended up being $52.00 per person which I personally didn't think was all that bad considering I spent $31 on dinner alone.

The next morning I get a call from my office-mate saying "that was the fastest $50 I ever spent in my life!" I ask her what she means & she says that she didn't drink anything but water & didn't even eat dinner. I'm like "wait a minute, you ate appetizers, took your $30 meal home and had dessert! What did you expect?"

We were supposed to go to a good bye dinner tonight for another co-worker that was transferred and unfortunately my son has been very sick all week with horrible asthma & couldn't be left home alone so I couldn't go. My office-mate went & calls me to let me know that they were all supposed to pay for their own meals but in the end the bill was split evenly & all she had was 2 appetizers & a water and had to pay more than she expected to pay. I'm like "listen, if you can't afford to pay don't go! It's that easy."

My NKOTB P.I.C. sent me the following texts:

She won't have to worry about paying any amount of $ from now on cause I'm not inviting her anymore.
She was chowing down on those apps so I don't know what the f*ck she's pissed about.
I'm not offering to drive her anymore.
Her ass should have stayed home.
She pissed me off royally.
F*ck that cheap b^tch.

If you knew my NKOTB P.I.C. this would be totally out of character.  I feel so bad :(

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Hey, Hey, Hey!

It's been a minute. Been busy with taking my son to the oral surgeon...
Where we sent the 3 wisdom teeth packing...
And he's looked like one of these since then...
It was very quiet in our house for 6 days! But alas, it is over - HE'S BACK!


Best part was I video taped him as he was coming out of anesthesia...
"Why did I do so bad on my report card?"
"You did good sweetie - you got Principal's list."
"No, I did really bad & now I won't get a free ride to Princeton. Is this Inception? Are you real? I'm dead! I'm dead! Why did I screw up & die?"

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Nope!

I don't want any appetizers!!!!!

This makes complete sense to me. Suffice it to say - I'm REALLY pissed off!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

NKOTBSB Fenway...Baby!

So I went to see my boys this past weekend in their hometown - Boston! At first we thought our seats were not the best -- but DAMMIT WE WERE THERE!  When it started to pour and we were under the awning that's when our seats were not so bad. The show was incredible!

Things I didn't like:
Mayor got the 'NKOTBSB' name wrong
Mayor should NOT have declared it NKOTBSB day - it should have just been NKOTB day
Mark Wahlberg should have a better disposition - always looks pissed off
BSB should have taken a 'back seat' to NKOTB for this concert
My friends need to 'hang' a little more & have a shot or two
Nick Carter is corny & tries way too hard
Joe Mac needs to relax a little on Please Don't Go Girl (I'm not going anywhere so chill!)

But all in all, the weekend was so good & I really needed it. Over too soon.

BTW I get to see my boys again in July - HIP, HOP, HOORAY! (If you were there you'd know)

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Hello Dahling!

Sorry...again. I've been out of the loop because my mom ended up in the hospital...again! Now we know that she had e-coli and now it's caused a huge problem.  She now has an arterial perforation in which no  (or very little) blood was flowing to her organs and caused 1/2 of her spleen to die.  A human can live without a spleen.  The doctors now have her on blood thinners since the perforation is in the interior of the artery and not on the top or bottom of the artery which would then require a more simple procedure. With the blood thinners for up to 3 months, they hope to give the artery a chance to heal itself otherwise it's a huge operation where it is similar to open heart surgery.

On top of getting the call from my mom at work saying "I need 911!" I got woken up at 3 in the morning from my son telling me "I think my wisdom tooth is coming in, but daddy gave my Tylenol." OK? So why couldn't we wait to have this conversation in the morning if he already helped you out?  Took him to the dentist where they informed me that my 15 year old has 3 wisdom teeth that need to be removed. But of course!

Mom's still in the hospital, son is going to an oral surgeon and me? Well, I'm less then 48 hours away from...
and, I'm going to the Prom! HA!!!!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

It's Been a Minute...

I know I haven't posted in a while but I've been a little busy with work & my mom situation.  Thank goodness she's back home but needs to go to the hospital every day for 14 continuous days to have IV infused antibiotics because the bacteria in her blood & intestines is immune to oral antibiotics. When she gets sick, she GETS SICK - no joke!

We are now only 9 days away from...
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!!!!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Five Guys

I forgot to post that after seeing John Leguizamo we went to get some

While we were waiting for our order I needed to use the ladies room.  The door to the ladies room was one of those doors that automatically close so I knocked...
and waited...no answer so I tried the handle...
but it was locked. So I calmly waited. When the 'person' that came out of the bathroom exited, she looked me up & down. Whatever, I had to go so I went.  When I came out my husband asks me if I had an issue with the bathroom because the 'person' had come out & said SOME PEOPLE ARE STUPID. WTF? When our food order was ready, my husband went to get it & came over to me as that 'person' was walking by & he goes to hand it to me & I of course had to say I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN HOLD THAT BAG BECAUSE I'M STUPID. She looked at me & looked away real quick. As we were walking out I couldn't stop myself & went to her table & in front of her husband and said if someone knocks on a door & the other person doesn't say anything like 'I'm in here' who's stupid? If someone says someone else is stupid not knowing that who the person is standing next to them is who's stupid?



Here We Go Again...

Mom came out of the hospital Saturday.

Mom went back in the hospital Tuesday.


This sh*t ain't even funny :( 

They brought in a homeless guy after we were already in the ER for over an hour. My sister, my mom & I were talking amongst ourselves but since in the ER all you have is curtains for walls, he deemed it necessary to shout to us SPEAK ENGLISH. My sister got so pissed off she started saying things back. I'm like don't engage with crazy people - I mean he didn't even know enough to get up & go to a bathroom when he had to take a crap.

He didn't say anything to us after that.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

20 Days...

Less than a month for...


and all the other kids & boys!

GhettoKlown

Went to see John Leguizamo in GhettoKlown which is really, really good. I kind of had a hard time following it though because the lady next to me seemed to have had a bowl full of poop before coming to the show - her breath was humming! I spent most of the show smelling my own hair it was that bad!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Sorry...

Haven't posted in a few days because I have a...


She's been hospitalized since Saturday night & they have no idea what's wrong with her.  The other day when I had to take my father-in-law to the hospital I had an epiphany that this was going to be my life since our parents are all getting old.  Little did I know it was going to be this soon & this close together.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Today I Realized...

Today I realized that I'll probably have my period when I go see NKOTBSB at Fenway...

That sucks...

But I still can't wait. Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh / Back Streets Back!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Top 3 Pop Stars...My Blogg...My Opinion

  Rihanna is truly a star.  Granted, after Chris Brown beat her up she's been SUPER weird with all the tattoos & weird hair which is TOTALLY unnecessary.  Speaking of Chris Brown - what a dumb-ass! Just when people were starting to get passed the Rihanna debacle, he goes insane on GMA & what totally sucks is F.A.M.E is actually good.  I kinda think it was a publicity thing that backfired.

Is it just me or does Rihanna look a lot like Mariah in this picture?




It's Britney Bitch! Whatever...in this picture she looks like even she's hiding from her career. Poor child really can't sing & what she really had going for her which was her dancing is in the past. I mourn your career.

"DON'T BE A DRAG, JUST BE A QUEEN
WHETHER YOU'RE BROKE OR EVERGREEN
YOU'RE BLACK, WHITE, BEIGE, CHOLA DESCENT
YOU'RE LEBANESE, YOU'RE ORIENT
WHETHER LIFE'S DISABILITIES
LEFT YOU OUTCAST, BULLIED, OR TEASED
REJOICE AND LOVE YOURSELF TODAY
'CAUSE BABY YOU WERE BORN THIS WAY"
I really think GaGa can sing but sometimes I feel she's just a Madonna rerun.
Is it just me or does she look a little overdone for her dental appointment?

Monday, May 9, 2011

New Day...Better Day

Never thought I'd say that spending 2 hours with both my sister & my mom & then another 2 hours of my day off with just my mom would be the highlight of my 3 day weekend. Went to breakfast & then some retail therapy with my mommy. Dropped her off & watched the rest of Celebrity Apprentice - WOOP! WOOP! Star - YOUR FIRED! Then I decided I needed shoes so I went back out.  As I'm driving, the phone rings & it's my mother-in-law. Dum-dee-dum-dum-dum. This is a translation of our conversation:

Me: Hello
MIL: You left me waiting for you yesterday.
Me: I didn't feel like spending my Mother's Day uncomfortable.
MIL: I think I'm going to have to spank you.
Me: OK.
MIL: I really think I'm going to have to spank you.
Me: OK, I may like that.
MIL: I can't talk to you.
Me: OK.
MIL: I really can't talk to you.
Me: OK, I may like that.

I have, once again, been deemed the 'bitch.'  OK, I may like that!

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mother's Day...Sad Day

Last night I had no where to sleep.  My DH & I don't sleep together because he snores UNCONTROLLABLY & my son had invited his friend for a sleep over so I was out in the cold.  I was going to make an effort & attempt to sleep with my DH, but when I went into the room after watching SNL, the mattress pad was crooked & I had about 18 inches to sleep on.  I tried to get my DH to get up so I could fix it but he just flipped over to his other side & continued to snore.  I dragged my pillows to the living room & set up the blow up mattress. As I finish & lay on it my DH comes out & says "Oh I'll sleep there if you really want me to." Uh, that's OK I got this.  In the morning it was Mother's Day! He woke up said good morning & asked me if I wanted him to make me breakfast. Is it me or should he just do this at least on this day without asking? So of course I said no thanks.  He eats, gets dressed & leaves.  My son & his friend get up & are out & about in the house & my son's friend comes up to me & gives me a kiss saying Happy Mother's Day! My son, came over about 10 minutes later & asks his friend if he had said Happy Mother's Day to me & FINALLY turns to me himself & gives me a 1/2 assed kiss on the cheek. My husband comes home & FINALLY turns to me & says Happy Mother's Day gives me a gift I had said I didn't want & my son gives me a card that he didn't buy stating the following:

Happy Mother's Day mother!
I hope you get a motherload of motherly love today.
From: The King of the Dipshits!

Aren't I just the lucky one? You're jealous right?

My DH gets a bottle of water & asks me if I want to go for his famous ride to nowhere (I'll blogg about that adventure some other time) in which I say no thank you. I turn to my son & give him a card to fill out for his grandmother & tell him when he fills it out to take the plant we bought for her to her house (she leaves literally around the corner from us).  That was at 12:00. At 3:00 my DH tells my son to get ready to go to his mom's house & I say he still has to go to my mom's house & since I told him at 12:00 I start to lose my mind. As he continues to play his X-Box with one hand & get dressed with the other & alternating writing I completely lose my mind & start unplugging TVs, X-Boxes, whatever had a plug.

As I sit here it's 6:30 p.m. & neither my DH or my son has spent any time with me on Mother's Day.

Aren't I just the lucky one? You're jealous right?


Saturday, May 7, 2011

Horoscope

May 07, 2011

VirgoVirgo (8/23-9/22)
It's frustrating to be speaking the truth and still be doubted, but you must have the patience to wait for other people to come around to your way of thinking. Just stay consistent and make it clear that you respect what other people think (no matter how wrong it is). That way, when the people you love start to get an idea that you're on the right track, they can come to you without feeling like you'll give them any sort of 'I told you so' speech. 

I just had to share my horoscope for today since it is so apropos! Got a call from my husband's mother this morning asking me to go to her house for a mother's day dinner.  I asked her if her other daughter in law was aware of this since she had so nicely sent me a text message demanding I stay away from her at all times. I told her I didn't think it was a great idea that I spend my mother's day with people that completely ignore me & then start texting about how effed up I am.  I do not wish to spend my time being uncomfortable - is that wrong? She proceeded to tell me that I should just try to fix the situation & I told her I have various times:

1. Invited them over for Christmas - DENIED

2. Invited them over for my son's birthday - DENIED

3. Went to sister in laws baby shower where I was completely ignored & as a matter of fact a friend of my husbands recently asked him, completely unsolicited, what was his sister in laws problem with me because at the baby shower she came to the table & said hello to everyone except for me & was making faces at me behind my back - NICE

4. When at the baby shower she was taking pictures with everyone & avoided the table I was at so I thought...it must be because I'm here, so I'll get up & go to the bathroom so she can take her pictures & I'll come back. During this party, my brother in law was fine with me - talking to me, laughing, putting his arm around me, etc. A week later, he calls my husband screaming that I was a bitch & left his wife as she was trying to get a picture with me - WTF?????

5. Called & left a message (because they refused to answer the phone) stating that this situation was out of control & we needed to find a way to come together - Husband received a text the next day from his brother stating that he needed to speak to him & unfortunately it was not good things about me - NICE

So, am I supposed to continue to take the abuse & say..OH THANK YOU SIR, MAY I HAVE ANOTHER??

Friday, May 6, 2011

A Day Like Any Other...

Went to work. Worked. Came home. Went to Lowes. Bought 2 plants. That's all folks!!
Oh wait! There was a fight at work between a teacher & an aide! The teacher yelled at the aide for not following the lesson plan she had left when she was absent & the aide yelled back at her that she did & the teacher yelled as the aide stormed out of the room that the aide needed to get help with her attitude & the aide yelled back to her: You need to go fuck yourself you fucking bitch! So I had to calm everyone down & then...

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Village Idiot

This morning I woke up with a renewed purpose. Perky & with a joie de vivre only the well rested could ever understand. About 20 minutes into my morning routine where I use the bathroom, brush my teeth, proactive my face, serve myself some coffee & begin my facial transformation I leave my bedroom with my clothes & go into the living room. I walk back into my bedroom & get a body spray, leave the bedroom & spray myself & get dressed. Why do I keep leaving my bedroom? Well because my 15 year old spawn had deemed it a wonderful idea to sleep in my bed, in my bedroom & since I know he has allergies & asthma I do not want to spray in my own friggin' bedroom.  I happen to go back in my bedroom & my loving spawn calls me an idiot.  Can you imagine?! This is the same child that I begged my DH to have.  This is the same child I gave myself shots every day for 3 months so his lungs could mature because he kept wanting to be born too early.  This is the same child I spent night after night sleeping in chairs & on floors in hospitals when he was born & every time he had asthma attacks. So of course I did the most logical thing ever...I cried.  Took my stuff & went to work early. After work I did some retail therapy, came home & while the spawn was at tennis I wrote him a note:

Dear Child of Mine:
I obviously do not expect much from you since you don't do anything.  I only expect good grades, which in truth will only benefit you in the end since you have already stated you will not take care of me in my old age and I expect & demand respect from my child. While I get the privilege of paying for your every whim & driving you wherever you want & watching whatever you want on the big TV I worked everyday for whenever you want.  I think you got the better deal.
Love,
The Idiot

OK, OK so I'm not as mature as I should be but DAMMIT IT FELT GOOD!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Music Rantings

First I'd like to comment on Christina Perri. I really like her music even though every song seems to be so depressing. So grab a bottle of jack (Ke$ha reference), turn off the lights & get your depression on.

Ke$ha could be REALLY GOOD if she wasn't so STOOPID!

Next on my rant is...Jennifer Lopez.  How can she judge people on how well or how bad they sing when she CAN'T sing & I personally think her movies suck.  Her music career to me is kind of like Gloria Estefan - they should thank God for their music trax (J-Lo) & their band (Glorita) because without it who knows...



Now I'll do a little hip hop music rant & just mention Nicki Minaj. I can dig her until she goes into that gutteral guy voice - why? And why is her ass so friggin' big? It's just unnecessary. I read somewhere she may have been in porn.

I used to like Rihanna but she can be really annoying now with her 'let me just be weird cause I can be' attitude.

Chris Brown - why does he have to act like such a douche?  Every time he starts to get some momentum he does something ignorant. Dumbass!!

As for my NKOTB addiction? LOVE THEM!!!! Fenway 06/11/2011 History Will Be Made & MY ASS IS SO THERE!!!!! WOOP! WOOP!!!!!!!!!!  OK I'm done...for now.